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My purpose was not to say that a Taken In Hand relationshp MUST include spanking, but that most Taken In Hand relationships do include some form of physical discipline. In my article I try to explain why. I do not believe that spanking is the sine qua non of living in a Taken in hand relationship. The recently posted fine article written by Lucy demonstrates that point. You mention Bramble and I assume you could come up with a few more names, but it seems to me that most people on this site include spanking or some other form of physical discipline in their realtionship.

Being spanked never brings me into
subjection,
it's the mental exercise of authority
that does it for me.

And I agree, that is what I meant in my article when I wrote that being taken in hand is dependent on the intimate psychological and emotional connection between the couple. This is what makes the husband's discipline so effective. If there was not a real connection then spanking in of itself would be an empty affair. You include spanking in your relationship, so it must have some power over you. I suspect it has something to do with the connection between you and hour husband. Would you be satisfied with only the mental exercise of authority?

I have never argued that spanking must be part of a Taken In Hand relationship because I know there are those women who do not respond to it. In fact, for some it might be detrimental to their emotional health if it was forced upon them. If spanking my wife crushed her spirit, I would be horrified and no longer do it. But for my wife and seemingly many other women it has a positive impact on them and on their relationship. The point of my article was to offer my take on why so many women want the positive affects of physical discipline. There is something about the physical and emotional nature of a spanking that women like my wife experience as an essential part of their husband's loving leadership of their relationship.

by Stephen on 2005 Sep 19 - 18:37 | reply to this comment
Spanking
Spanking is something my husband has always done because he knows I like it. It never made any difference to how I felt about him though. Some things have changed between us since we started having a Taken In Hand relationship. I never used to feel like being spanked except when I was feeling sexually aroused. Now, however, since I seem to feel mildly sexually aroused all the time he is around I find I am ready to be spanked any time, just as I am ready for sex any time. The actual spanking though has nothing to do with why I feel like this all the time, it's the difference in mental attitude that has changed the way I feel about him. Spanking never made any difference to anything.