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reformed_tomboy Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 10:29 pm

I agree that guys (and girls too even at times) want things to be very black and white. It’s very much a “just give me the answer and I’ll do it!” mentality I think.

Life is decidedly more complicated than that unfortunately.
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verie44 Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 11:18 pm

I agree that it’s a summation of things, but probably the one worst thing a guy can do varies from girl to girl. For me, it’s whining. I HATE whining & complaining. I can remember the exact moment when the downhill slope of negativity (obviously other things had happened before this) came to a stop & I realized that the person wasn’t right for me and it was when he started whining. I’m particularly sensitive to it because I was scolded whenever I whined growing up — my parents would tell me to fix the problem instead of talking about it. So when he did it (and extensively for over 15 minutes), I just respected him a lot less. He had done it before, but I didn’t remember all the other times because I was still into the relationship and I brushed it off as mildly annoying.

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Susan Walsh Reply:
July 16th, 2010 at 8:23 am

I think whining has to be the weakest and most supplicating behavior of all. It means that the person has absolutely no “hand” and is just begging as a last resort. It’s also petulant. Whining is for children. Adults have no business indulging themselves this way. It’s a total relationship killer, because it’s impossible to respect someone who resorts to whining. We feel ashamed for the other person. When that happens, it’s over.

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Susan Walsh Reply:
July 16th, 2010 at 8:14 am