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While this is not how most people imagine their marriage turning out, unless truncated by death or divorce, this is how many respectable marriages end - at a respectful distance.

by Noone on 2005 Apr 19 - 16:56 | reply to this comment
In accord with Noone
Noone,

I agree with you here. There is a danger in remaining too cordial, too distant, too polite. What many of us are looking for in Taken In Hand relationship is a partner unafraid of bridging the great divide between the inherently male and distinctly female roles.

I want my husband to communicate in ways most people would never dream of attempting. I want from him a degree of understanding that can't be casual, and often must be extracted on my part.

He is leading in part by his example, and therefore must be of admirable character; thoughtful, honest, trustworthy, and above all dominant. He needn't shout or bully, as his effort to understand and respond to my needs allows him to speak not only with authority, but confidence. He has gained that crucial insight into what moves and motivates me.

I suppose I want to know that he has the strength of character and conviction to overcome my objections when those objections often prevent us from a deeper connection with one another.

I'm very lucky to have a man who loves me in all my quirkiness. Our desires are complimentary and compatible, and in no way does his desire to be dominant rob me of pursuing my interests or the activities I enjoy.

Yes, there are times when a raised eye brow or a simple expression of disappointment or displeasure is enough. But honestly, I don't just want a Ward Cleaver approach. (That's a stern talking to in a very civilized tone of voice, for those of you unfamiliar with the old TV show, Leave It To Beaver). No, there are times when I need him to take that risky step right into my personal space and confront me one on one. I want to feel his breath as he speaks, his body heat as he presses against me. I crave a bit of hands on. I have encouraged him to lay on hands and spirit me away.