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I am the child of a marriage where there was no cherishing loving nurturing feelings at all.My father was and is a domineering cold bully.My mother confided her feelings and relied on me,pouring her unhappiness into me.In many ways I was her mother.She kept secrets and spoke badly of my father to anyone who would listen,but never to him.Consequently I married a weak man,that was needy,I suppose I carried on being a carer of someone needy,I just swapped my mother for him.I did think it was love I felt but with hindsight it was his neediness I reacted to.I divorced him after thirty years,his repeated adultery being the cause.Its taken till now for me to realise I needed someone stronger,a loving dominant nurturing man.Our formative years,what we observe, shapes what we become.Often we are a reflection of all we internalize as a child,but there are exceptions.I have a close loving relationship with my children and am now in a loving relationship with a lovingly dominant man...so theres hope for everyone.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2006 Feb 10 - 12:43 | reply to this comment
Full circle
Here in the Netherlands, until ten years ago, anything vaguely resembling the relationship Sarah describes was frowned upon by very nearly everybody. The Dutch didn't invent 'political correctness', but they might have. Now it seems we have come full circle, at least in the segment of society that is my habitat. Highly educated and otherwise sophisticated women are choosing more and more often to serve and obey their husbands, or at the very least they are hoping to find, 'one day', a husband capable of making them submit.

I prefer the present situation over the one our grandparents found themselves in, not because I do not recognize and appreciate the beauty of the traditional relationship between a strong, loving man and his joyfully subservient wife, but because the element of choice, the young woman's renouncement of alternative options now available to her, makes her submission an even greater (in the 'momentous' sense of the word) step.

To conquer and call your own an intelligent woman, who might have pursued a brilliant career, or wielded a big stick on the board of a large company, to have her at your feet and tending to your needs, and obeying you, and bearing your children, and following your lead, accepting punishment for her mistakes and striving ever harder to please you -- is there anything more a man can wish to accomplish in his personal life? I think not. And for a woman to be that woman, too, must be the highest virtue, bringing the highest reward.