https://states-men.freemusketeers.nl/
https://statesmen.jouwvindplaats.nl/
https://statesmen.vindhier.com/
https://statesmen.jojojanneke.nl/
https://statesmen.velelinkjes.nl/
https://statesmen.handigestart.nl/
https://statesmen.linkminer.nl/
https://statesmen.champion.be/

I am one of those folks who is developing an urge to 'switch over' to the D/s label, not because I think there is a fundamental differnce between Taken In Hand/DD/D/s but because I think in many ways a D/s label allows more flexibility for us. Most of the criticism of *some* D/s (ie. the woman is 'not submissive enough') I have found more prevalent in the DD community in particular.

For one to claim that D/s is *about* the woman becoming more and more submissive against her wishes and best interests is just as much a narrow view of D/s as it would be of Taken In Hand. Douglas writes:

Within Internet-based BDSM there is a large number of 'dominant' individuals of both genders who are indeed just out for their selfish short-term interests. I suspect they are not that many but are very noticeable because if they get a partner at all, they won't hold them for long so will soon be back looking to mess up someone else's life.

I think a number of single women run into this quite a lot while looking for a partner 'into' some kind of power dynamic. These are the kinds of men and women who are going to let themselves be known, who are going to have 'just the right language,' people who will spin you around with their charm (at least initially) but in the end prove to be dishonest with not only themselves but with others as well. It all wastes a lot of time for those genuinely seeking a life time connection. It is not D/s.

As Douglas's post should well be an example, D/s is a way of relating that is very definitley about BOTH the man and woman. D/s need not be only a bedroom game even though many folks will label a part of their play a d/s element of their relationship. It is absolutely absurd to think perfectly reasonable and emotionally healthy people would form a bond in marriage or in a committed relationship based on the premise that the man should get what he wants out of it and the woman should 'submit' even against her will. Why would a reasonable person do that?